one of those sappy blog posts

I am not the most mushy person in the world. And basically I like to keep my private matters just like that private. i think thats what make me such a bad blogger!! But... I am going to go out of my comfort zone a bit and publisize (i dont know if thats a word) my private !! From the previous post you understand kinda the sitution I am in. Through all of this I have briefly told you that brock was great, but i wanted to tell you how great !!!!
You know what a little bunny rabbit looks like when you put a spot light on it, or a deer in headlights look??? The first time I had my pain--in idaho--although i didnt get to see him when my mom told him she was taking me to the hospital and he needed to hurry and get there, I imagine brock having that look on his face. When he first got to the hospital he immediately came and sat on my bed gave me a quick kiss, rubbed my arm and asked if he could do anything for me. The whole time i was in that hospital bed I saw a look of desperation on his face although my family was joking around me and we were giggling here and there Brock was paying attention to and anticipating my every need. The nurse said i needed to drink water so brock came and sat on my bed again and tried to get it down me. even though we went home thinking i was just dehydrated Brock carried me downstairs, put me in bed, brought me some water just in case i needed it, and warmed me up since i was still shivering.
now i know these sound like simple easy tasks that you think to yourself well if my loved one were in this situation i would probably do the same thing...and maybe you would. Brock did!!
I am not going to take you through each hospital visit But i will tell you that since i work nights and have to catch up on my sleep during the days I have kinda been the worst house wife ever. I have woke up some days to Brock having the house spotless--dishes done, carpets vaccuumed. the whole 9 yards!!
The last but not least, the last "episode" that i had lasted from about 6:30 to about 4 in the morning. It was bearable but brock sat by my side the ENTIRE time. for the first hour he drove me around because we thought it would take my mind off it. Then everytime my breathing changed because my pain would get more intense i would see brock stop what he was doing and put his full attention on me. He called the hospital and demanded to talk to the oncall OB at 3 in the morning. He refused to go to bed because he didnt want me to go through this alone....
I honestly dont know who reads my blog and unless you are some creep putting the heads of my pictures on inappropriate pictures i dont care that ya do in fact welcome i hope you enjoy your stay..... I just dont think that i am as kind and thoughtful and caring as Brock has been. I have been blessed to have been able to marry him! I have been blessed to have such an amazing man that is selfless, caring, and attentive to me and my every need. I am so greatful that brock is a worthy priesthood holder. I know that my pain has been lessened because of his faith. During times of struggle it is sometimes difficult to see the bigger picture, Brock has continually given me strength by helping me increase my faith and showing me a christlike example. i say that i love him and i do so so so much but it just doesnt feel like the right word... i wish there was more that i could say because what i think & feel for this sweet man seems like so much more !!!!

Health Update

Ya know when it just seems like everything in your life is going wrong and the onlything left to say is well at least you have your health..... well things have actually been going pretty good but my health is on this roller coaster!!! So here is what is going on.

A couple of weeks ago i had what we will call an "episode." What happens is, i get nausea/vomiting and then my stomach starts hurting. it burns aches and cramps. i also get the hot sweats, and as much as it embarasses brock i have to strip down to my birthday suit put ice packs on me and a fan. TMI?? This pain lasts for about 3-4 hours and then as soon as it is gone i get chills and start shivering for about an hour. these "episodes" have been happening every couple of days without any warning. the first time i went to the ER they thought i was dehydrated from all of the vomiting. so they hooked me up to some IV fluids and sent me home. my 2nd ER trip they gave me as much morphine and dilaudid as i could get all the while i was still screaming from pain, did a ultrasound and found nothing... so i got an MRI.. they found that i have an intussusception of my bowel... google it..

SO. my options are.... drum roll.....


Surgery, oh but wait! I cant have surgery because my intussusception fixes itself and it doesnt cut off the blood flow well at least yet.. So my dr's orders are wait for the pain to last for 6 hours then maybe your bowel is dead come in and we will take a look and see if we can do surgery... oh yeah this also would be super high risk because of your pregnancy. oh and also we dont really see this in adults usually its babies so you are kinda our first patient that we have ever seen with this....

so my brilliant Ob sends me to a gastroenterologist--he knows about bowels right... I paid $50 for a specialist to sit down with me retell me everything that they told me at the hospital and the only dietary advice he has is to stay hydrated.... Thanks doc can i have my $50 dollars back so i can shove it up your bum and make you feel the pain that i have been feeling and then maybe you will be a little more interested and advise something more then hydration.

so thats whats going on...as far as what can be done ---- basically nothing until my bowel dies. I would like to thank all those that have prayed and fasted for me this has been a difficult process and your support means alot. my next step i guess is to meet with a surgeon. until then we are gonna keep praying that i dont have anymore "episodes"

xoxo Haili

p.s. Brock has been amazing through all of this I am so so greatful to have him as a husband. he is the best !! love ya !!

BIRTHDAY BOY !!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to this Cute boy !!!!(now 26)

Today is Brock's Special day so i wanted to give a little shout out to him. I love this guy more and more every day, and with every new experience that we go through. Recently I have been having some health problems i guess you could say and Brock has gone above and beyond what i think any average husband would go. He has put up with me screaming at the top of my lungs, held me when i cried, made me laugh when it was the last thing i wanted to do. I know this picture is of a little boy, but the man that i married is amazing !! Yeah there are time when he acts about the age he is in that picture, but i love him for it. So brock when you read this thank you so much for being the husband you are. I love you more then ever and am so glad we get to spend forever together. You are going to be the best dad ever. I hope you have the best birthday ever !!!!! XOXO Haili & baby

FAIR TIME

As all of you should know I LOVE the fair!! in particular the Eastern Idaho State fair. This year Brock and I only got to go 2 nights and it was a little bit disappointing..... here are my reasons.

1. Eden was playing volleyball the days we were there so it was only logical for us to go watch her play while we were there --- meaning our fair time was severly cut down. We got there about 7 and left about 10ish....

2. I WAS SICK... oh boy was i sick. Brock and I sped up to Idaho thursday morning right after i got off work, that day brock had to work in pocatello so my mom met us and took me home. BUT... not before i woofed my cookies right in front of the key bank as all of the tellers and workers were walking in & not to mention it was right by a stop light where there was some road construction. did i feel stupid--- Nope... in fact i did my business and went on my way. thursday night I got super super sick---and dehydrated and had some wierd pains going on so we made a visit to the doc... NO worries everything is fine but the way i felt i thought i was dying and if i was gonna die I at least wanted something to dull the pain. but all i got was a bunch of IV fluid. our little baby was pretty stressed out but when i finally (after 3-4 hours) got rehydrated she was a little bit happier. ALSO----what i found to be SO RUDE was this--- I still consider myself an idahoan. well as i was getting checked in and everything eden was sitting outside and could hear the nurses fighting over who was going to take me because i was "from utah" those big retards if they only knew i was the best patient they would ever have. so Bingham memorial expect a call about hippa violations, and discrimination-- you made this idaho/utah pregnant lady a bit upset.

MOVING ON.....
3. While I was at the fair...... OH BOY! I love seeing people that i havent seen for a while and catching up...its probably on the top 5 reasons to go to the fair. well what Brock and I laughed about for hours is that we saw probably 4-5 of my ex-boyfriends that i dated OVER 4 years ago and every single on of them ducked their heads or tried to avoid eye contact every time we saw them. Brock thinks i must have just been bad at breaking up with them, and they took it a little too hard or something. and i just dont get it....but i do think it is funny-- lets be honest here I love my husband more than anything. he is the best man i have EVER met. but just as he has people he dated before so do i. Brock kinda loved them and left them. but i thought i was friends with these people and its just weird that they would act so crazy---- ok my rant is over but i thought it was humorous.

4. THE BIGGEST LOSER. Brock, my mom, Britni & my dad are doing a family biggest loser. The entry fee to get in was $200 a person so the winner will actually be taking home $600. it started in august and the last weigh in is at State Volleyball October 30. so far Brock has lost about 16 pounds (and is looking mighty fine!!) and everybody else about 5-6. Brock would like to still loose about 15 more pounds, and if he does nobody will be able to touch him and he will be the winner!!! But...lets just say the fair wasnt a good place to go while on a diet. The first night i was there i ate scone nuggets-prime rib sandwich-trout-chocolate covered cheesecake- and basically snacked on whatever was around.

I do love the fair but i didnt even get to make it all around the circle more then 1 time. or ride any rides or buy me a really big cotton candy. I know this sounds kinda like a grumpy post but i still love the fair and i had a wonderful time in idaho! and i cant wait for next year. we didnt get too many pictures, maybe when we make it to the utath state fair !!! thank heavens the utah state fair is going on this week and you better believe i will be there at least once to see if i can get my fair fill !!!