Lots to say

I have almost been out of the hospital for a week now, and let me tell you it is great to be out of that place! I first of all want to start off by telling everybody that prayed, fasted, sent flowers, visited, and everything else-- thank you so so so much. you will never know how much your love and support has ment to me and Brock during this difficult time. I know that I was healed, and our baby was saved by a pure miracle and i am greatful every day for that. I am truely humbled by the kindness that has been shown to my family during this time and all I can really say is thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Also to catch you up from where Brock left off. I woke up from my last surgery and quite honestly I dont really remember what day it was. I remember people coming and visiting, my mom and brock showing me cards that people had left, and getting updates about how eden was doing in district volleyball tournaments. I started really "coming to" on Saturday- Oct 23. when i was moved out of the shock and trauma ICU. That day i got another NG tube put down my nose to feed me. I will tell you that i am so glad that i was out of it when they put the first big one down because the 2nd smaller one was TERRIBLE!!! mostly because they had to go past my stomach a little bit. the next couple of days i spent recovering and trying to regain my strength. I was finally allowed to eat food on wednesday oct 27. I was so excited but soon found out that it wasnt going to be that great of an experience. I have no appetite after not eating anything for about a week, and when i did eat i got filled up so quickly it was hardly worth my effort. the first day i was only able to get 600 calories down- and i was trying my hardest!!! on thursday they told me i needed to get down a lot more food so i tried again and did a little better but still not great. and then on friday they said that if i wanted to go home i had to get down 2500 calories!! I COULDNT believe it!! never in my life have i ever eaten 2500 calories in one day-- at least not that i can remember. I figure my normal diet probably consists of anywhere between 1500-1800 calories and thats on a good day when i get time to eat 3 meals.----- i somehow got enough calories down that day (thank you carnation breakfast drinks that have 560 calories !!!) and i got discharged saturday morning.

SInce being discharged my life has been very different from what i am used to. I consider myself to be highly independent and able to do basically everything for myself. well.. not so much anymore. I struggle daily trying to eat... i have no appetite and everything tastes different then it used to. SO my mom and Brock have been pushing food down me like crazy. I think i have been making small improvements and hopefully will be able to get back to a somewhat "normal" eating habit. This may be TMI but hey everybody poops so here ya go. My bowels are somewhat eager to work, so much so that they are working like crazy and things just shoot right through me. I have had a few close calls and i promise to never laugh at those boys that pooped their pants on their mission... enough about that.... Grace as far as we know is doing great i go to the doctor weekly and also get non-stress tests weekly. they measure her heart rate, contractions, and check her fluid to make sure everything is progressing normally. SO far so good. I am so nervous to find out if there are going to be any effects from my surgery, and all the medications that i was given that could hurt her permanatly. Right now that is my biggest fear.

I would also like to say that if you or anybody you know is having medical problems, whatever it may be... If a doctor or Nurse or whoever is ignoring your concerns or telling you that it is no big deal or anything along that line, and it is a big deal to you... DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT... It is not ok.. DO NOT be ignored !! Looking back at the 2 months that I endured this pain, and had the fear of not knowing when i was going to have an "episode" and not getting the help or attention from medical professionals that i needed my biggest regret is that i did let them push me aside and ignore me.. its not ok.

I am so so so greatful for my special nurse in the labor and delivery unit at IMC. she paid attention to me and took me serious--- she did her job as a nurse!! she realized that my pain wasnt a typical pregnancy pain or "just gas" as i had previously been told. If she would have ignored me I wouldnt be here today.... I am also forever indebted to Dr. Stevens (my surgeon) who first of all had the courage to operate on me not only 1 time but 3 different times. and also giving me a chance to heal instead of just cutting all my guts out of me. Being 22 I never really thought about dieing, it just really wasnt one of my concerns. I am so greatful that i was given a 2nd chance at life. I have said it before but i am saying it again. I have the best husband!! He is one of the greatest men i know and i am so blessed to have him. I wouldnt be here without him.. he could have just said lets wait a couple of hours before we go to the hospital... but he didnt he took me immediatly and saved me!!

I believe in miracles.. I know i was saved, and showed incredible mercy from God. I am greatful everyday for this